keptherwaiting | 1949, Prince Edward Island, Canada

Alice deflates a little, even though she knew he’d not let her off the hook. “No. Maybe.

“What if I’m angry at something? And I push and push it at you—“ she bites her lip and sighs, her gaze sliding to his shoulder. “Worse—what if you’re angry and I push a different mood at you? To distract and deflect? In a way you don’t want?”

He feeds off of her emotions more than others, this she knows. They are a conduit to one another, a loop. What if she does something one day, whether tomorrow or far into the future, and reminds him of Maria in the end?

She doesn’t want to ever remind him of Maria. Not in the bad, and if she’s being honest, not in the good either.

Her fingers unwind from his to push through her hair and she shivers again, reaching for the blanket tossed to the end of the bed, to draw it around herself. It’s warm enough—not like the bath, but it serves a comforting purpose.

“I know that...Maria did that, in the end, and I can only imagine she did it before. Turning your mood to something else to serve her needs and wants.” Alice murmurs in a rush, her fingers tightening on the ends of her hair. “I don’t want that to happen and I know not wanting it means I’m not her, but if I did it, I’d still be no better.”

Jasper could be used, so easily. And to Alice, it seems like Maria did it without a second thought, whether that’s true or not.

“That’s a lot of what ifs,” Jasper says softly, not quite meeting her gaze as he toys with the edge of the blanket she’s pulled over her shoulders.

He’s not sure how else to respond. He doesn’t think Alice would ever use him in such a way, but he also hadn’t thought Maria would. And she had, hadn’t she?

Then again -

“I’ve manipulated others too,” he adds after another moment. “I worry - That is, I don’t want to do so in a way that hurts you but I can’t promise not to use my powers on you. It doesn’t excuse it but I do it to protect myself sometimes, y’know. If someone is too angry or upset, and I can feel my mood changin’ because of it.

“And I - used my powers against Maria too. Manipulated her to do something, used it to scare her, get her angry, or calm her down. I know you think the worst of her and that she manipulated me and maybe she had and maybe I’m easily fooled,” he says in a rush, “but I’m not innocent, Alice.”

It’s hard for her to believe that—he’s never given her reason to believe him when he says he hurt Maria too.

Sometimes, she thinks he’s just being hard on himself. But, then again, he lived an entire life before her, was an entirely different man.

A soldier, a killer.

Alice reaches out, her fingers ghosting over his chin and lips. “See, I brought it down—we’re supposed to be celebrating.”

She feels anxious, nervous, uneasy and she can’t pin down the exact reason, except the worry she’s upset Jasper. He’s quick to defend Maria, or rather: he’s quick to remind her he hurt Maria too, as if worried Alice will show undue hatred toward the other woman.

Alice doesn’t think her hatred is undue at all.

“Well, I guess. I promise to never change your mood maliciously. To hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you—that was the whole point of my ramblin’.”

“And I promise to never use my powers against you maliciously,” Jasper swears, frowning against the tips of her fingers pressed still to his mouth.

“Is this - Is this because I had a sexual relationship with her?”

It’s his turn to talk fast, the words pouring from him:

“I never felt an ounce of what I feel for you for her. I fancied myself in love but now I know it wasn’t that. I love you. I know it doesn’t erase the fact that I was with her first, though. That she and I were together for so long. And you - Far as you know, you’ve never been with anyone else.

“I mean, you woke up as a vampire and I was the first thing you saw. I don’t want you to be with me just because you think you’re supposed to be. Maybe you’d rather have a - a chance with someone else?”

Which, God just the thought and saying as much twists his insides and it hurts. He doesn’t want that but could he stand in her way?

“No—no—“ Alice shakes her head, almost violently, her fingers pressing harder against his lips as if she could stop the words from coming out. Her chest aches, sharp and painful. “No, I don’t care about—“

Biting down on her lip, she takes a deep, albeit shuddery, breath and tries to put her words right before speaking.

“I don’t care that you and Maria had sex. I don’t care if you had it every day, or every possible second you could. I really don’t, that’s not it. I care that she hurt you...I care that she took advantage of your powers to make you do things. I know you say that you’ve done things to her and I believe you but—“

There’s no neat way to get her thoughts into the words she wants to say.

“You are the only one I want. I know it’s cheesy, the whole ‘love at first sight’ idea, but I didn’t know anything when I woke up, and then I knew of you and I felt like I might have somewhere to belong. I wandered the country, feeling wrong and weird for so long but just thinking of you made me feel right. Why would I want to try with someone else when I know what true love is?”

She cups his face with her hands, pressing her forehead against his. “I just don’t want you to ever think you traded one cage for another, with me. I don’t want to use you, or hurt you, like Maria. And I don’t want you to hurt me like you say you did her—even though I highly doubt you’re capable of that because I mean—“

Alice pulls back to smile cheekily at him, trying to insert some sort of humor back into the air, to make him laugh or smile. “—look at me! I’m so ridiculously adorable, you can’t be mad at me.”

Jasper smiles softly. “You are ridiculously adorable,” he says, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

He loves her and she loves him and that’s what he clings to for the next few moments.

A true love, as she says. Theirs is so strong, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything stronger.

“I don’t feel caged by you,” he adds after another moment of attempting to sort through her words and thoughts and feelings. “And I trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.

“I don’t know what else I can promise you other than my love, my trust in you, and that I promise to never hurt you intentionally, though. And I don’t know how else to reassure you about the rest because - I don’t know what we’ll face in the future.

“You may, with your visions, but I just - We can’t promise to never get mad at each other or be stupid about something. At least, I can’t. I’m moody as Hell, darlin’,” he adds with with a twist of his lips, his own attempt to lighten the mood again.

She’s listening—really, she is—but that twist of his lips floods her with a sudden need to kiss him again.

“I know,” Alice whispers, shrugging the blanket off as she inches closer to him, her fingers light on his chin, moving his head so she can press her lips against his. A soft press, then a longer, deeper one.

A whiny noise leaves her when she presses her forehead against his, her words breathless. “I’m really not worried about you hurting me—you probably never will, with how protective you are. It’s me I’m worried about—I’m a mess, erratic at best. I just worry you’ll be caught in the flow of it all.

“I love you, so much,” Alice mumbles, dragging her lips across his cheek, jaw. “And I want forever with you.”

“Honey, I‘ve been caught in the flow of it already,” Jasper says with something of a laugh, following her kisses with his own.

“That first day, I was so overwhelmed by you. That night too, and days following. Maybe it won’t always be the good kind, but I’m here for it all. Not just your good moods. Like you‘re there for me.”

That said, he sweeps her up into his arms and has her back pressing into the bed as he covers her body with his and kisses her more soundly.

“I love you.”

“Jasper,” Alice whispers, her hands framing his face again, her voice soft but intense, as she implores for him to listen. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I know I‘ve said it before, but I need you to know I mean it.”

She slides her hands to his shoulders, swinging her leg over his hip so she can overbalance him and reverse their positions. Settling on his lap, Alice presses her forehead against Jasper’s.

“You are,” she drops a kiss to his cheek, then the other, her mouth trailing down his jaw. “The best part of my life.”

Jasper is listening, and he takes the words to heart. She means them, and he feels that heartache that they’d been talking about earlier at her sincerity. This though only because his heart feels so full and like it could burst.

“Alice - “

Something like a sob leaves him.

God, she makes him into an emotional mess with how much he feels for her, but he doesn’t care.

He cups her face, pulling her lips to his again in a kiss, pouring all the love he feels into it and her.

Shuddering under his hands, Alice makes a sob-like noise of her own. Her fingers clutch at his shoulders under the onslaught of his emotion, trembling at the intensity.

An intensity she feels from within—mirrored by his. Her love, his love, it all swirls together and threatens to overwhelm her.

“I love you,” she sighs, her words muffled and scattered across his lips. She repeats the words, over and over again, her fingers stroking his cheeks, pushing into his hair, slipping down his neck. “God-Jasper—you—“

A helpless laugh leaves her as her words fail her and Alice kisses him again instead.

Jasper follows her helpless laugh with one of his own as he props himself up on his elbows to kiss her back.

He just loves her so much, and their love makes him so happy.

Any nervousness or panic he’d felt moments ago as they talked fade as his lips slide against hers and he just basks in their feelings of the moment.

He then nips at her bottom lip - “Love you too.” - and follows it with the press of a more gentle kiss.

After a long moment, she breaks the kiss. Alice tucks her head against his neck, her arms wrapping around his shoulders in a hug.

She wishes she could come up with more words to explain how much she loves him. The three little words aren’t enough.

Trailing her lips down his neck, Alice nips at his shoulder, soothing immediately with a swipe of her tongue.

She doesn’t need to say it, though Jasper loves to hear it. Her feelings and her actions, from her lips on him to the tokens she gifts him with, are more than enough to convey it.

He nuzzles his face against her neck and breathes in deeply. She always smells so good to him. That scent of hers can calm him instantly, turn him into a puddle, or just as quickly turn him on, much like it does now.

He sometimes wonders if it’s too much, how much he wants her at times, always eager and always ready. How he can be perfectly content and then just need her in the next moment. It’s like the hunger for blood, but this burning is not limited to an acid coating his throat, rather more like a raging fire that burns through every limb, starting in his chest and erupting outward.

Edited 2020-09-18 13:10 (UTC)

His desire floods her in turn, and she hides a muffled moan in his neck, her hands sliding to the mattress, bracing herself over him.

“You,” Alice murmurs, a growl in her voice, her words punctuated by kisses against his throat. “Are the only man I ever want—remember that.”

Her hips shift against his, teasing as her own lust flares brightly.

Jasper growls at that, and he suddenly has her against the bed again, spreading her legs wide as he presses into her so slowly. Slowly enough that they both feel every moment of the exquisite stretch and drag of him inside of her.

He hates the thought of her of being with any other, hates that he thought of it even for a single second and offered to stand aside if that’s what she wanted.

He doesn’t want that, ever. It’d kill him if she ever walked away from him, or ever looked anywhere else for this.

A thought he echoes out loud, in a rush, a ramble:

“Please don’t ever leave me, or kill me first. God, Alice. I love you. I love you so much.”

At the press of him inside of her, Alice whines, her hands clutching at his shoulders.

Then his words, coupled with the slow drag of him that makes her legs tremble. His words, possessive and needy and she feels just the same.

“Never,” she promises. “Never—I’m yours, God, Jasper—“

He’s never felt so possessive before, and yet -

He growls again as he sits back and pulls her down on him the rest of the way, filling her so completely.

Another growl too as he wraps her legs around his waist and holds onto her hips. As he gets up on his knees, pressing them into the mattress, to raise her up and off him, until he’s just inside of her and then brings her back down on him again.

“And I’m yours,” he pants against her mouth, repeating the movement again and again, the bed groaning under them.

His limbs tremble, not at the weight as she’s too light for that, just weightless in his arm, or the exertion of the movements, but at the stretch of her around him, at how she clings to him, at the feelings shared between them.

“I’m all yours, darlin’. You’re the only one I want.”

The way he moves her, picks her up and positions her, takes full control of their movements—it floods her with a new sort of heat. Makes her tremble around him with need and want.

If you’d asked her a year ago what she’d thought of possessiveness, she’d probably have frowned. But here, now, with Jasper claiming her as his and him as hers in their shared bed—well, it flames that new heat.

“Good—“ Alice growls, her words more of a sob than anything else as he lifts her, teases her with being barely inside of her, before sliding home again. Her fingers find their way into his hair, tugging his head back so she can kiss him hard, teeth tugging at his bottom lip as she whimpers into his mouth.

Her answering growl is perhaps the sexiest and sweetest thing that Jasper has ever heard. He almost finishes right then and there.

“Oh God, Alice.”

He presses into her, his whole body plastered against her as he buries his face in her neck, trying not to let this end so soon.

He trembles as he holds her, her scent overwhelming him too, but he takes a few deep breaths of it to calm down.

Another moment, another breath, and then he’s moving her over him again, riding her against him, her name falling from his lips once more.

“Alice, baby, darlin’ - Jesus.”

In their pause, she kisses his ear, below it, tongue tracing the outer shell as he regains his control. She’s almost sad he didn’t finish then—the heady feeling of wielding that much power over him is intoxicating.

And then he’s moving again, lifting her and pulling her back down onto him, her thighs quaking as he drags inside of her and all thought is driven from her mind. Her hands cup his face again, dragging his head back once more so she can kiss him, trace the shape of his lips and recess of his mouth with her tongue, letting him swallow the noises and whines that leave her.

“You wanted me to finish then, huh?” he asks in a whisper when he breaks the kiss, having picked up on her slight disappointment.

He nips at her lips even as he still guides her on and over him, dragging those moans and whimpers from her, wanting to hear them.

“I wanted to. That growl of yours, darlin’ - God.”

He adjusts his grip and has her against a wall in a blink, pressing her to it as he thrusts into her gently. His presses one palm against the wall beside her head as he loops his other arm around her.

“Do it again,” he pants into her mouth. “Tell me you’re mine. That I’m yours.”

The new position, pressed between a wall and him—she scrabbles at his shoulders and neck, her legs locking around his waist.

It takes her a minute, to process his request, lost in a fog of need and want and absolute pleasure dancing up her spine.

“Mine,” Alice growls again, moving to take his chin in hand, to make sure he’s looking at her. “You are mine.”

A lamp gets knocked to the floor as he suddenly sets her on the nearby desk, his gaze never leaving hers as he moves in her hard and fast.

“God, yes. Yours, only yours,” he promises, the words as desperate as his movements.

The furniture groans under them, only drowned out by their pants and moans and their bodies moving against and into each other.

“And you’re mine, right? Only mine.”

“—fuck—“ Alice gasps as he sets her back down, his hard thrusts driving her nearly wild.

“Yes, yes, God, just yours,” she groans, her foot pressing into the small of his back. Each thrust forces the air out of her lungs, leaving her gasping and wanting, never wanting this to stop.

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