Jasper (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
keptherwaiting) wrote2020-07-10 10:17 am
keptherwaiting) wrote2020-07-10 10:17 am
1950 / Vermont
It happens so fast.
He's not even sure what happened?
Only, they'd stopped for gas.
And Alice had gone off into the town on foot, further down the way, while the boutique was still open before closing for the night. She needed more stockings.
Charlotte and Peter had stepped into the tiny shop attached to the station to look at the novelties, books and magazines and sundries.
Jasper had been with the attendant, filling the gas, had heard the glass break, and then -
Peter, coming out, looking wild-eyed, fresh blood on his breath.
Someone screaming.
Jasper shouldering past Peter, the attendant following.
Charlotte had a woman by the neck.
Another dead on the ground.
The attendant reacting, reaching for the phone or a shotgun, something behind the counter, and Jasper, he couldn't let -
He had to.
Right?
(He'd wanted to.)
"God, Jasper. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Peter is saying repeatedly. "The guy was drunk and he broke the glass bottle. His hand - "
Charlotte, calm enough, making it look like a murder, not a rampage.
"Just - just, get in the car. We have to go," Jasper says to Peter, shoving him toward the door, toward the car. "You drive. Charlotte, c'mon. We have to go."
They have to get Alice and -
And -
Fuck. Goddamnit.
Jasper is hunkered down in the backseat when Peter slows the car to pull up to the curb and collect Alice, just out of view from the brighter lights of the main street.
Alice, who'd already been waiting for them.
He's not even sure what happened?
Only, they'd stopped for gas.
And Alice had gone off into the town on foot, further down the way, while the boutique was still open before closing for the night. She needed more stockings.
Charlotte and Peter had stepped into the tiny shop attached to the station to look at the novelties, books and magazines and sundries.
Jasper had been with the attendant, filling the gas, had heard the glass break, and then -
Peter, coming out, looking wild-eyed, fresh blood on his breath.
Someone screaming.
Jasper shouldering past Peter, the attendant following.
Charlotte had a woman by the neck.
Another dead on the ground.
The attendant reacting, reaching for the phone or a shotgun, something behind the counter, and Jasper, he couldn't let -
He had to.
Right?
(He'd wanted to.)
"God, Jasper. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Peter is saying repeatedly. "The guy was drunk and he broke the glass bottle. His hand - "
Charlotte, calm enough, making it look like a murder, not a rampage.
"Just - just, get in the car. We have to go," Jasper says to Peter, shoving him toward the door, toward the car. "You drive. Charlotte, c'mon. We have to go."
They have to get Alice and -
And -
Fuck. Goddamnit.
Jasper is hunkered down in the backseat when Peter slows the car to pull up to the curb and collect Alice, just out of view from the brighter lights of the main street.
Alice, who'd already been waiting for them.
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He's still overwhelmed, feeling too much.
He needs a moment.
A walk.
A run.
Something.
"Start a fire, sure."
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But she can't see it, not yet. He hasn't made any decisions other than something and everything is hazy and hangs between them.
"Maybe...not." Alice murmurs, flitting to his side with speed, her hand closing around his wrist. "Stay here, for a little longer."
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His jaw clenches, a twitch.
"I'm just going for a walk. To find Peter and Charlotte."
But it sounds like a lie now, even to him.
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She rearranges her fingers around his wrist to hold him tighter.
"No," she tells him, sharper, eyes wide. "You're lying. Stay with me."
It comes out harsher than she means, but the visions are clearing--she can't let him leave.
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But he cuts himself off with a growl, a huff.
He looks upward, toward the sky.
"What do you want from me? I already said I'd stay with you."
That comes out harsher than he means too.
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How does she tell him he has to be watched? How does she say that and not hurt him?
"I don't know how to tell you these things," Alice trembles. "I never wanted to have to."
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"Just tell me them," he murmurs. He covers the hand on his wrist with his own.
"I didn't - I wasn't planning to do anything."
But he can see how something might have happened now.
Just like before. At the stop for gas.
And all that he feels? It could've been anything.
He tugs her toward him, into a hug. "I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a mess right now."
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"If you...continue this," Alice whispers, her lips moving against the fabric of his shirt. "You'll be miserable. Living with the Cullens will take adjustments...adjustments I can't quite account for just yet, but, you will be happy there. And you won't have to feel the pain you feel now, or will if you go back into town."
Her words are hurried, tumbling out quickly as she holds onto him. "I love you too," she adds, pulling back to look up at him. "And don't apologize for that--it's understandable."
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All he has is his past to compare it to.
She looks at him then, and all he wants to do is curl around her, hold her or have her hold him.
Jasper finds it hard to argue with her, to doubt her.
Everything she has done or said to him since he'd met her has been nothing but true and sincere. His life has really been better since he'd met her and, if she thinks - knows - that the Cullens are a way for them to be together with a forever in mind, he supposes he needs to give them a try.
"Okay," he murmurs again, this time with more surety.
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"Come here," Alice whispers, standing on her tiptoes to curl her hand at his neck. She drags him down to press their foreheads together, breath held to not smell the blood on him. She'll need to inhale after speaking again, but it'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
"I love you," she cups his face, pushing up on her toes further to kiss his cheeks, the corner of his mouth. "It's going to be alright. I promise, Jasper."